Why do so many men lose their tempers? "The rage comes because there''''s so much frustration when you cut off something that is you. Yet that''''s what men do, because they''''re afraid that if you give emotions an inch, they''''ll take a mile," says psychologist Kenneth W. Christian, PhD, author of Your Own Worst Enemy. "If you don''''t learn how to work with your emotions, you''''re a shadow figure, a small incomplete version of yourself. It''''s only a matter of time until the house of cards that you are falls apart."
For Kim Garretson, that day came four years ago when he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. As often happens when illness strikes men, he realized he had nothing to lose, and everything to gain, by letting himself feel. "I''''m no longer afraid of expressing almost any emotion," he says. "I get anger out with my quick, sharp tongue and move on. I use humor as an outlet, I''''ve reconnected with old friends. I talk about the big questions of life. 1 search for spiritual meaning."
Guys, Try These
In his Dirty Harry days, Clint Eastwood never flinched. Now as a husband, father and Oscar-winning director of movies that explore the depths of men''''s souls, the tough guy has turned tender--but not talkative. "The men who hide their emotions the most may; in fact be the most sensitive," observes Christian. Yet men can become more emotionally expressive without tears or fears. Here are some ways to start:
Develop a creative outlet. Hobbies like painting or playing a musical instrument can tap into a man''''s soul. Remember that much of the world''''s greatest art, music and literature was created by the allegedly emotionally challenged sex.
Release stress and anger through exercise. "When you get to the breaking point where you just want to put your head through a wall, taking a ten-minute time-out isn''''t enough to calm down," says Westover, who in moments of extreme emotion finds a place to drop to the floor and do push-ups.
Try'''' expressing "a little" emotion. "Start with feelings you can control, find a sympathetic ear and use the term ''''a little,''''" suggests Coleman, Saying you feel "a little" sad or "a little" scared feels safer than a full declaration of vulnerability.
?Lean into the discomfort. "Rather than avoiding a feeling that you''''re not sure how to handle, move toward it," says psychologist Travis Bradbury, PhD, co-author of The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book. "Learning to handle emotions takes time and practice, because you need to retrain your brain, but it does get easier."
16. Kim Garretson, a 54-year-old corporate strategist, once got very angry when_______.
(A) diagnosed with lung cancer
(B) given a take musical instrument
(C) dragged into a mountainous trip
(D) served cold food in a restaurant
17. "They''''ll take a mile." (para. 2), ''''they'''' refers to_______.
(A) psychologists
(B) cards
(C) emotions
(D) friends
18. If you fail to learn how to work with your emotions,_______.
(A) you will sooner or later break down
(B) you will be an active figure in shadow boxing
(C) you will be afraid of expressing almost any emotion
(D) you will spend more time searching for spiritual meaning
19. Which of the following ways to control emotions is NOT recommended in the passage?
(A) To talk as much as possible.
(B) To lean into the discomfort.
(C) To develop a creative outlet.
(D) To try expressing "a little" emotion.
20. What main idea is discussed in the passage?
(A) How to develop your emotions.
(B) How to check your emotions.
(C) How to handle your emotions.
(D) How to express your emotions.
Questions 21-25
"You''''re off to the World Economic Forum?" asked the Oxford economist, enviously. "How very impressive. They''''ve never invited me."
Three days later, t queued in the snow outside the conference center in Davos, standing behind mink coals and cashmere overcoats, watched over by'''' Swiss policemen with machineguns. "Reporting press? You can''''t come in here. Side entrance, please." I stood in line again, this time behind Puffa jackets and Newsweek journalists, waiting to collect my orange badge. Once inside. I found that the seminar I wanted to go to was being held ill a half-empty room. ''''"You can''''t sit here. All seats are reserved for white badges. Coloured badges have to stand."
An acquaintance invited me to a dinner he was hosting: "There are people I''''d like you to meet." The green-badged Forum employee stopped me at the door. "This is a participants'''' dinner. Orange badges are not allowed." Then, later, reluctantly: "If you''''re coming in. please can you turn your badge around? Diners may be upset if they see you''''re a colour."
"Why does anyone put up with being treated like this?" t asked a Financial Times correspondent. "Because we all live in hope of becoming white badges," he said. "Then we''''ll know what''''s reall3 going on."
A leading British businessman was wearing a white badge, but it bore a small logo on the top left-hand corner: GLT. "What''''s a GLT?" I asked.
Ah, he said. "well, it''''s a Davos club. I''''m a Global Leader for Tomorrow."
"That sounds very important," I said. "Yes." He said, "t thought so myself until I bumped into the man &o d sponsored me. on the way to my first meeting. I asked him if he was coming: and he said, ''''Oh no, dear boy, I don''''t bother with that any, longer. I''''m not a GLT any, more, I''''m an IGWEL.'''' What''''s an IGWEL?'''' I asked him. ‘ A member of tile Informal Group of World Economic Leaders of Today."
The World Economic Forum has employed a simple psychological truth--that nothing is more desirable than that which excludes us--to brilliant effect. Year after Fear, its participants apply. to return, in the hope that this time they''''ll be a little closer to the real elite. Next year, they, too, might be invited to the private receptions for Bill Clinton, Kofi Annan or Bill Gates. instead of having to stand on the conference center''''s steps like teenage rock fans.
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